On the website chinhphu.vn, Deputy Prime Minister Nguyen Thien Nhan gave an overview of the current situation of Vietnamese women married to foreign men identified by the models "4 no" and "1 because" being ignorant of culture and law. french language; don't know the situation of the future husband; I don't know the face of my future husband and I have no love. The "one because" goal quickly changed lives and economic accumulation (1).
In this article, I want to focus my discussion on the cultural and linguistic aspects of the Vietnamese bride - Korean husband so that the issue can be further to develop. That is, I will focus on other ways of integrating the indigenous culture of Vietnamese brides. In terms of cultural integration, Assoc. Prof. Nguyen Hoi Loan met many Korean girls who got married through matchmaking and living here. Most of them are not suitable and difficult to integrate Korean into cultural life (2). Therefore, the other points I will not mention in this article.
Anyone will have trouble living in another country. In Korean, there is also the phrase "lạ nước lạ cái" that is used to describe this. Although living in the same country with the same language and culture but having to move to another area, it is also "lạ nước lạ cái", it is difficult to adapt immediately. Most girls get married abroad through marriage brokers. And with the desire to be changed. Because, at home, they are low-educated, poor families. They come together for economic purposes, not for love. However, most Vietnamese brides who marry Korean people are also of the peasantry, poor and manual labor. “A husband and a wife are in the poorest class in society, living together leaning back to each other when not entirely based on love, having to live together with cultural differences, more tragic", Assoc. Prof. Nguyen Hoi Loan said (3). Therefore, they will easily fall into a state of “cultural shock”.
According to Wikipedia: Culture shock is an experience a person may have when one moves to a cultural environment which is different from one's own; it is also the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply transition to another type of life (4). Thus, having to live in a foreign country other than language, religion, culture, tradition, plus economic difficulties and cultural shock is extremely hard work.
First of all, I would like to address the issue of linguistic law. Although Vietnamese girls learn Korean before marriage, their Korean ability has not reached fluency. Most of them are just at the beginner level, stopping at a few sentences of everyday conversation. Studying the Korean language takes a very long time, so you cannot speak Korean fluently right away. It is common for foreigners to marry Koreans as adults, with less than 5 years or 10 years to live in Korea, so it is difficult to find someone who can speak Korean fluently. Thus, the biggest difficulty they have been experiencing is the language problem.
On the other hand, if Vietnamese brides have good Korean language skills, they are ready to adapt to the social culture and family life of the Korean husband. They can avoid spousal conflicts or social discrimination.
Next, the problem I want to address is culture. Although living under the same roof, because of growing up in a situation where traditions, culture, and history are different, Korean-Vietnamese couples will gradually feel the cultural difference in each other.
As mentioned, the object I am targeting in this article is Vietnamese brides to Korea, who are in the process of adjusting to life here. It said that one of the cultural differences that makes it difficult for Korean-Vietnamese couples to get along is their eating habits. The husband and wife both feel a great difference revolving around eating, such as how to eat, utensils eat, etc. For example, in Southeast Asian cuisine, there are many dishes to smell. But Koreans are not familiar with these foods. So no matter how delicious these dishes, Koreans cannot eat them. In contrast, Vietnamese people find that most Korean dishes are red because they add too much chili and it is very difficult to eat. Another point is that Southeast Asian cuisine is often sweet, while Koreans often eat less sweet and salty foods. Korean culinary culture varies from region to region, and Koreans who are different from other regions also need time to adjust to the food. In this case, it is the Korean husband and his wife, they inherently have different culinary culture context, so it is natural for them to feel the cultural difference in food and eating habits. However, if this problem continues, it will affect the couple and family life. Can not force one party to completely sacrifice their eating habits, but both sides must make an effort to learn about each other's habits to find a way to adapt to each other.
In another aspect of culture, I want to mention children born in Korea. According to sociologists, there is a big difference between children born to Vietnamese girls by matchmakers and indigenous children in South Korea. They are often biased and discriminatory in classrooms and schools, so they are shy and self-deprecating in themselves. It means the kids will fall into “intolerance” (tính không khoan dung). According to the author group John R. Balwin in the book Intercultural Communication for Everyday Life, define that: Intolerance refers to any thought, behavior, policy or social structure that treats people unequally based on group terms (5). I think the intolerance here means that children born with Vietnamese blood when their parents get married through a broker will be discriminated against by Korean society through behavior, thinking of teachers and friends at school. Therefore, it is more difficult to grant citizenship to these children.
I think that it is perfectly normal to get foreign marriage in the 4.0 era. No one can prevent you from loving and marrying foreigners. But before you make that decision, give yourself more time to learn about the other person to avoid unfortunate consequences.
Therefore, on the main newspaper chinhphu.vn reported on April 22, 2011, during a speech at the Marriage and Family Conference, Deputy Prime Minister Nguyen Thien Nhan stated the requirement to switch from "4 no." "To" 5 know "for Vietnamese brides, that is: know the historical culture and law of the country where they will come to be the bride; know the laws of Vietnam and their obligations to the country; know the examples of the most successful and the most unsuccessful people of the same locals who have married foreigners; know your future husband; knowing the family circumstances of the husband's family before officially going abroad. "From there, there will be happiness." (6)
References:
(1), (6) Tử Lương (22/4/2011). Lấy chồng nước ngoài: Chuyển từ “4 không” sang “5 biết”.
(2), (3) Kim Anh (27/12/2014). Lấy chồng nước ngoài không như là mơ.
(4) Cultural shock. Wikipedia
(5) John R. Balwin, Robin R. Means Coleman, Alberto Gozaslez and Suchitra Shenoy-Packer (2014). Intolerance-acceptance-appreciation: How can we make the world a more tolerant place? Intercultural Communication for Everyday Life. Johnson Wiley & Sons Ltd, 114.