I said today, "I think we should break up".
But do you know, how much it hurt to say that?
.
You came to me in the best year of my life. We have been together for more than two years.
And, you are a real man. You do what you said. You are straight ahead. You always help me with my life: when I moved, when I cut my finger, when I was fucked with my project,...
Today, we fought. Probably the 1000th time in the last 5 months. I said today, "I think we should break up". You told me why I always said that every time we fight. I said that I could not put up with it anymore, that I tried my best. You said nothing but I could feel that resentment...
And you said "Sorry". Again. You know, you are the person who said "Sorry" to me the most. I knew you did not mean it. I know you just don't like the thought that we'll seperate. 
.
When I finish bathing, I came downstairs and saw you just left. I heard the sound of the door shutting, and I did not see your crocs in front of my room anymore. You left. I came in my room and heard the sound of your bike outside. I tried my best not to cry until you left.
When I saw that all your clothes and bags were not there anymore, I could not hold it anymore. I burst into tears. I cried for the 5th time today. I cried with the thought that you will not be here anymore. Earlier today, I could not hold it in when thinking about the warmth of your hand when holding mine. You have such a protective hand. And since now there will be no one hug me his best as you do. And I just missed you so much. I really miss you. Now no one will go to drink the cheap coffee with me every Saturday afternoon. I will not spend my holidays with your family anymore. How I hate that thought!
And most of all, the thought of loosing you just drove me insane. I missed you so much. I miss everything of you, especially how you used to hug me and kiss me. And such happy memories of us together, they killed me emotionally. 
Sometimes, I just wonder whether we changed. You have become more rigid and cold, and I have become more demanding and sensitive. But my love for you just increased day by day. Do you know that? 
My tears kept falling down with every single thought of you. Why it must be this way? Why we must break up while we are still in love?
24/01/2021,
Your stubborn princess.