After confessing with my crush last year, we still keep in touch and we try to be friends (I try, to be more precise), because deep down inside, I think I still have a chance to change him, that one day he realizes he also has feelings for me and we become a couple just like that. We've been friends since then, we met twice, and of course I just pretend to be okay because I know I still have feelings for him. We still text, mostly everyday, update each other's life, where we travel, but only on surface level. Never getting into a deep conversation. And somehow I am okay with that.
Until today, while we talk very casually, he mentioned something about what his people like (we are not from the same country), and at that very moment, everything makes sense to me. I understand why he rejected me at the first place, it's not about long distance, it's not about he is not ready. It's just I was not his type, he never feels attracted to me nor thinks of me as a potential partner. He only thinks of me as a friend and he treats me nice as a friend. And also at that moment, I realize, it is not what I really want, I don't want to be his friend, I want something more, I want a relationship. As much as I like him, I think it's time I have to let him go. It's time that I have to be honest to him and to myself and it's time I have to accept the fact that it's never gonna happen. It hit me quite hard to be honest when he said so, but I have no choice other than being strong and face another failure. I will need to find a good time to tell him then, but I am not sure he understands, or maybe I should just be quiet and not talking to him anymore? What do you think I should do? Any experience on this? Having a crush is hard, crushing on someone who does not reciprocate is even harder...
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