This should have been my first post
When I first created my account on Spiderum, I thought for a while for a nickname. I decided not to use my real name but I didn't know which nickname should I use for this. Now you all know which one I chose. The idea came to me unexpectedly, no one has ever called me by this name, I haven't used it elsewhere as well but at that moment, it sounded so perfect to me and it still does now. 
From the moment I thought of this nickname, I intended to write a post, the first post to present myself to you and to explain why I'm Not.a.Princess. For many reasons, I didn't write anything down, until now. But by chance, this happens to be the more appropriate time for me to write it. 
As you see, I'm Not.a.Princess but if you ever read any of my post, you'll see my signature as Nota (I know, stupid name, right?). So am I a Princess, or not? 
Let me tell you a story. 
Once upon a time, there was a little girl, simple-minded, living within her castle walls. She learned about the world by what people in the castle told her and through her small windows. Life at the castle was comfortable, her kingdom was not a big one or so she thought but it was fine, she was easily satisfied with what she got. 
As she grown up, the castle walls couldn't keep her anymore. She developed the ability of observation, comparison and analysis and (un)fortunately, she was quite good at it. She suspected things around her and realized how a Princess actually looked like. It turned out she wasn't one and the castle was just drama props. You might feel pity for her. To think that you have everything and then realize you have nothing at all wasn't a pleasant situation. 60 years ago, people could live happily without Internet or any state-of-the-art technology, however, they couldn't stand a day without Internet or smartphone nowadays anymore. Habits are that powerful. 
But actually, she dealt with it just fine, again, she was easily satisfied with what she got. She didn't blame anyone for this lie, how could her? She even felt more grateful because when she lived in her castle, people had to build it, and of course, it was cold outside. Anyway, she adjusted herself according to her new realizations. After all, she didn't want to live in her castle forever. She coudn't deny it was a comfortable life and she liked it somewhat but she was never afraid of stepping outside to build something of her own. She have always thought about that, now she just have to do it a bit sooner. Everything was good, except for the fact that sometimes she still acted like a Princess. She was raised like one her whole life so it coudn't be helped. Maybe the Princess aura didn't leave her, and everything about her gave people impression that she was a Princess. Sometimes, she just sat and tried to understand what her parents was thinking. They seemed to have prepared too well for her act of life: the castle, the lessons she took, the gifts she got, the experiences she took part in,... (of course she knows that wasn't the case but it's weird, still).
Most of her friends think that she has such a beautiful, peaceful life. Some even envy her. They said: "You are really lucky, living a life without any worry." Deep down, she usually got triggered by that. She thought: "How could they say that, they don't know how being her is like". But she didn't react intensively, she just silently smiled back. She couldn't blame them, wasn't it exactly what she wanted them to think? She achieved her goal, she should be glad. Many people came to her to share their problems, ask for advices, she was such a good listener and she's proud of that. She thinks about herself as a fairly rational person but she has feeling too. Sometimes, in a split second, when listening to people' stories, she would think how could them complain about such tiny little problem of their life, they already possessed a lot of things that she could never get. She got frustrated by how people don't embrace what they got, instead, they emphasize their tiny little problem and ask for her sympathy. But the next moment, she knew that she was being irrational. Implying her standards on others wasn't the right thing to do and every comparisons were subjective. The severity of the problems doesn't decide who feels more depressed. And, maybe her problem which she think is big is just another tiny little one to someone else. With that in mind, she kept listening to people, gave them help and comfort when needed with as much energy as possible. Who would care that much if they couldn't even handle their own problem, right? So she must be fine, they think. But don't blame those around for not being thoughtful, they do, it's her choosing not to bother. Knowing there would be always someone by her side if she ever asked for it, that is enough for her.
If you remember, the Princess had always wanted to flee from the castle, someday, since she was little. It was in her reach, not easy but not impossible. When she realized the castle wasn't a castle, she were a bit surprised. What kept her content was that at least her escape might get easier since it was not a real castle. Her plan was still reachable, she just needed more time to adjust since the situation had changed. If she wasn't born a lucky child, if she couldn't get any favor or support as a real Princess do then she would do it her own way, all on her own. She was full of  hope back then, she believed in things like free will or you can make your own destiny. 
It turned out life was harder than she thought. There were always so many constraints, those that kept her bound. You might think she needs a breakout, she just doesn't wanna do that, we always have choices. Yes we do. But what's the difference when the consequences that followed are too hard to bear? As she grown up, the more she realizes, the more people expect from her, the more responsibilities she has to take. It's like people gave her the Princess life and now she should pay for it, for living the life that wasn't meant to be for her, even though she didn't choose it herself, even though she knew nothing back then. Unconsciously, her fate was tied to the castle, it's not in her hand anymore. 
She felt desperated. All she ever wanted might not be fufilled, at least not at the moment she wanted. And who knows what the future hold? When she pays enough to free herself will she hold on to her wish or will she be too tired after dealing with all these chaos and lock herself up in the castle? Or well, it might never be enough and there would be more responsibilities for her to take. 
Sometimes, she just wants to unplug every wires that connect her to people. She doesn't need people to give her anything so please just don't take away her choices in life. Just be by her side, watch she lives her life, makes choices (even if it's a terrible one) and try to take full responsibility for their lifes. It would be ideal, but of course, the society doesn't work like that. 
She would be fine anyway, she believes, like she always does. She looks happy, happy with a secret.
Nota.