Today is a hot day in Seoul. More than a month from our break-up, I started rethinking about our relationship. We started with your confession that you wanted to be my boyfriend. And I said yes at that moment. We ended with a call that you wanted to say bye to me since you did not have enough courage to meet me in person.
It is not a long journey but I learned a lot from our relationship, you know. I am very thankful to both of us. We had ups and downs in our relationship, and at the end, we still say good luck to each other in the upcoming journey. When I write down this writing, I can't imagine where you are and who you are with. Maybe you are surrounded by your family and friends. I am happy for you. Thanks for being a part of my life.
Thinking back our relationship, I realized that we has a lot of mistakes in our relationship that I could improve in my next relationship. I want to share it with others since I believe that we can help them to prevent these mistakes in their relationship.
1. Relationship starts from loneliness and boring, not true love:
We were both lonely at that moment. Obviously, we met each other to fill up the lonely space in our mind. Many times I asked myself that whether or not I love you. It was strange to me because I usually asked this question even when we were together. I didn't love you as I think. We are just more than close friends but never been a real couple. The last advice you give me in our last call was that please love someone you truly love, not because of other stuffs.
2. Don't let anyone engaging in our relationship:
When we have problems, I usually talked with my friends before letting you know. It was my fault when I can't believe in you. I had so much worry that you could be mad at me if I said this to you. But no one in my friends' list can understand our relationship better than us so please if there is any problem, please sit down and talk to each other with the patience and opened mind.
3. Don't overthink:
In a relationship, the best thing you can do for your partner is your trust on them. Sometimes you and I overthink a lot about each other. When you hadn't take my call, I thought that you hated me, you didn't want to talk to me, we was gonna break up. It is f*cking idiot to me now. Try to trust on your partner. Even if your partner cheats you, your action is from your own kindness and inner beauty, not because of them.
4. Love yourself:
Say the best for last. Love yourself more. Self-love can bring peace to the relationship. It can build a healthy relationship. And how to build self-love. I think no general answer. Everyone has their own journey to find their self-love. I am also on the way of finding this. I will let you know when I find it out. I want to be the best version of myself, not because of you. It is because of me.
Seoul, 24/08/03
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