Alone and free (Day 26 in 30-Day Writing Challenge)
Sometimes I can’t understand myself. I don’t want to be lonely but I’m annoyed with everyone around me. I use Tinder to make new friends...
Sometimes I can’t understand myself. I don’t want to be lonely but I’m annoyed with everyone around me. I use Tinder to make new friends but I get bored of texting to them. It’s not because they are boring, but because I just want to be alone and don’t want to talk.
I think I have a serious problem with commitment so that I’m afraid of getting attached to people. I even hate the feeling of belonging to a group. I’m tired of trying to connect people, care about them, ask for their opinions.
Being alone I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to give a damn to anyone.
I want to be free, completely free!!! So that I don’t have to consider if anyone is unhappy with my decision. No one pulls me back when I want to leave. No one annoys me in the early morning when I do my daily writing. I won’t have to clean some one’s shit and give no complaint just because I get sick of talking to them.
It leads to another serious problem. Although I’m okay with having no boyfriend at the moment, I feel that I will have a hard time to get one in the future.
First, the commitment issue. Second, the careless and tiredness of sharing and learning a new person. Usually, I can only maintain my patience for the first 2 days. Then I will suddenly get bored, don’t want to talk and screw up everything.
Want a boyfriend AND to be alone at the same time? I’m so ridiculous!
Em mờ lị
@NguyenPhuongAnh
Chuyện trò - Tâm sự
/chuyen-tro-tam-su
"I heard exactly the same thing, a long time ago to be sure, from a doctor," the elder remarked. "He was then an old man, and unquestionably intelligent. He spoke just as frankly as you, humorously, but with a sorrowful humor. 'I love mankind,' he said, 'but I am amazed at myself: the more I love mankind in general, the less I love people in particular, that is, individually, as separate persons. In my dreams; he said, 'I often went so far as to think passionately of serving mankind, and, it may be, would really have gone to the cross for people if it were somehow suddenly necessary, and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone even for two days, this I know from experience. As soon as someone is there, close to me, his personality oppresses my self-esteem and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I can begin to hate even the best of men: one because he takes too long eating his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps blowing his nose. I become the enemy of people the moment they touch me,' he said. 'On the other hand, it has always happened that the more I hate people individually, the more ardent becomes my love for humanity as a whole."'