Part 1- trying to be perfect
Title: Perfect – the princess’s point of view
The story of a “perfect princess” has been a legend for ages. Every now and then, people in her kingdom are always proud of their “perfect princess”. But her memoir tells a different story that nobody has ever heard of…
I get called the “perfect princess”, the one that is perfect from every side, the one that everyone dreams about. That perfect princess that every girl wanted to be when they were young. The words people usually used to describe me are gorgeous, elegant, talented, and intelligent. People used to mention me with the phrase “She is perfect, there are no words that can describe her fully”.
But the thing that people cannot understand is I have to try very hard to be a “perfect princess”. I've been not perfect since I was born. At first, I was imperfect just like everyone else. I failed many times, and nobody cares about me. I tried to impress my parents with my hard work, but they don’t even care. Time passes, I soonly understand that if I’m not perfect, nobody will care what I’m doing. Then, I worked even harder than before, I tried in many fields and tried to be perfect in everything. I know that I am too ambitious, but if I am not perfect, nobody will pay attention to what I am doing. I dreamed about the day that I would be perfect every night. I dreamed about the “perfect princess” that I would be as a daydream. I tried hard on every field – hoping that I would be perfect from every side someday soon.
The more that I tried to be perfect, the more I understand that nobody would care how hard I tried, they will only care about what I can bring to this kingdom and what I can do for them. I was really upset with that, but I can’t do anything more than accept the fact and try harder to please them. Being perfect isn’t easy, it takes years and there is the time that I was so upset that I’m thinking about quitting the “perfect princess” title. But I can’t do that, I knew that I have to be perfect, it wasn’t “I want” anymore, it is “I have to”. I knew that I’m the face of this palace, and I’m the future queen. People around the world will only look at me but judge the whole kingdom. Those reasons only are enough for me to keep on trying to be the “perfect princess”. The hardest thing to accept throughout the whole process of trying to be perfect is the fact that nobody will care how hard I tried, how tired I am, nobody will care how I feel, everyone is just so emotionless.
Day after day, I became the most perfect version of myself. Year after year, everyone looks at me and starts to compare themselves with me—I have become the " perfect princess". And that is the time that I’m in my happiest mood, my parents started to pay attention to me too. Everyone looks at me as if a god. I feel like all of my hard work has been paid, but that happiness didn’t last long. I started to realize that if I only stop at this “perfect princess” level, soon people will be bored of it, so I have to be more perfect. There won’t be the highest level for “perfect". People will soon be bored of this “perfect princess” version, and I will have to update it usually to please everyone. At the time I realize that fact, I didn’t feel shocked or downhearted any longer, I knew that if I don’t accept that fact, I won’t ever update myself and be more perfect. Trying to be perfect is hard, I know. But maintaining that “perfect princess” title is even harder, I always have to think of ways to please people more and how to be perfect when I’m still a perfect princess. And there is one more thing that I realized when I became the “perfect princess" if you’re not talented or “perfect”, no one would care about what you are doing. People will only pay attention to the talented people or those who can bring them benefits, so, in order to get people’s attention, you have to be absolutely excellent or benefit them.
I focus more on the fields that can help and please people in my kingdom. I tried to focus on art, music, dance, and even politics – the thing that a true “princess” shouldn’t learn. But I chose that field because I am the future queen, I have to understand my kingdom to lead it to a bright future. The words I usually hear from all of my teachers are “Wow, you’ve already done that? Well, I have nothing more to teach you. You have a strong ability for studying, keep it up, my little princess.” Or “Oh my god, really? You learn faster than any of those ladies. I’m so proud of you, my highness.” I heard those things often enough to make me feel normal when I face them. But I knew that aren’t flattery words, and those are the reasons and motivations that keep me to maintain that “perfect princess” title. (To be continued)