Catcalling/sexual harassment in Viet Nam - A problem that no one addresses.

As a woman in Viet Nam, getting catcalled isn't rocket science. This phenomenon has become something so common in Viet Nam, that we hardly ever talked about it. From sexual glances, teasing to physically/sexual interaction, there's not an end to it. However, if a woman does actually speak up, there are two main responses about the situation: victim-blaming and how you have to stay silent to be safe. 

First of all, let's talk about victim-blaming - where the person that gets wronged/hurt gets the blame for the harm that they are receiving. "It is because of what you are wearing", "If you know It'd happen, stop wearing something revealing". Since when did men have the right to touch/tease women base on what they wear? "She's wearing that kind of clothes, she's probably asking for it"; no, barely walking on the street and prostitution are two different things, and It should not be something that's confusing. One of the places that girls get catcall most often is district 1 (The district of entertainment), or just places with men that are your dad's age. Calling a hotline is just as invalid and weary: "I called a hotline but the operator asked what I wore, and why I was dressed like that in public places."

Secondly, staying quiet to ensure your safety. Personally, as a girl, I will admit that is what I do almost every time I get catcalls. It is scarier than what people think, and man never thinks how their actions can give women not just uncomfortable feelings, scared, but it also could make them feel excruciated and destroy their self-esteem. A majority of women in Vietnam did not feel safe "being a women" in public places as misogynistic attacks ranging from catcalling to groping have not been taken seriously, a new survey has found. Even in crowded places, these things happen and no one stands up to protect women, and yes, I am speaking from experience.

Now, I would want to tell you a story from one of my closest girlfriends. It can be said that she looks above average, and is a pretty girl that would get attention wherever she goes/whatever she wears. Boys in my high school are all crazy about her. As we just bought matching dresses, we were so excited to wear it and spend quality friend time together before we have to leave Viet Nam and go study abroad. However, we have to walk for around 10 minutes to the coffee shop where we decided to go, we've got a thousand eyes on us. Okay, let's just ignore it, right? But no, more than 3 guys spoke at us in disrespectful ways, and one actually approached and touched our friend. Before he did more than that, we were able to just run inside the coffee shop. I was staying silent, again, and I could not tell you how mad I was, of not being able to protect her just because I'm also a girl. What else could happen? What the hell on earth that has to happen, for people to take this seriously? People wait until It is too late to take action when It already is confirmed a rape case. One of the things she said that I could not get off my mind is: "Hey, I am 16 years old and this already is happening to me every day, I have to dress so poorly when I go outside, I have to cover my whole body up and look like a Ninja. I wonder what will happen to me If I'm 18 years old ?". No matter how old you are, if you don't "cover yourself up", you will get catcalled in Viet Nam.

Every time I get slightly touched, I try to tell myself: "It is fine, don't make a big deal out of it, they did not go further than that", all over and over again. But the consequences, the post-catcalls, it will always stay as a hole in me. And It is a burden, to consider every piece of clothes you are going to wear in public. It is also why women aren't given the ability to be confident, because when we are, men give us a million reasons why we should not be. That is wrong, and we should be able to express our personality, our own styles through clothes that we put on ourselves every day. And us, woman, should have the right to be comfortable and safe in it.