2023 - A year of SEARCHING | 2023 REFLECTION

2023 is a year I'd rather forget, as it took away someone dear to me—my loving grandmother. Even now, I grieve and feel angry about her abrupt passing. Hopefully, in 2024, I'll find more peace about it.

2023 was a year of searching, a year of figuring things out for me—in work, study, relationships, and lifestyle. There's no slowing down anymore, as I feel I've had enough of that in 2022. This year, I stopped immersing myself in healing and taking breaks, as I believe I only have one youth, and it's better to make the most of it. On one hand, I achieved several good results that made me feel proud and satisfied. On the other hand, there were numerous times when I found myself lost and physically and mentally exhausted."

After my grandmother passed away, it left me with a sharp pain and an overwhelming fear that I could lose any of my beloved ones at any time. This motivates me to express my affection to them and intentionally spend more time with my family. For example, I allocate a small portion of my salary for my parents—just a little, but I know it brings them happiness throughout the day. I also spend more time talking with my mom, explicitly expressing my desire to be her best friend. Since then, I regularly confide in her about my life in Saigon, my work, my studies, and my romantic relationships. She is happy too and encourages me to be more open with her, as she has become my safest and best friend.

Our relationship wasn't always this good due to the generation gap, and the truth is, my mom is a closed-minded person, leading to conflicts. However, this year, I've tried to change the way I approach my mom. Every time we have differing views, I express gratitude for her hard work, which has given me the opportunity to access more knowledge and experience the world. I feel sorry that she couldn't have the same chance. It's my pleasure to convey this to you again, Mom. I hope you can openly listen and trust me. By treating my mom gently, our relationship has become much friendlier than before.

Additionally, I make an effort to eat at the same time as my family's mealtime. I regularly text my mom and dad expressing my love for them and how much I miss them. I ask them to stay healthy with me because they mean everything to me.

Teaching English is my major and this year, by shifting from teaching 1:1 to working under an organization, I think my teaching skills have enhanced a lot since then. I’ve worked as a private tutor for quite a long time and I did achieve positive feedback from that. The truth is, most of my private students usually study with me for over 6 months. I think this is a little achievement for me. Having said that, there were countless times that I found myself lost as there was no one there who could tell me what I still needed to improve, what I did wrong, something like that. And then I decided to work for a center. And yeah, it’s like a light this year for me. I have had two very supportive, caring, and inspiring mentors. They have taught and offered me a lot of chances to learn and practice, to make mistakes and to grow from that. Additionally, I have learned several subjects related to pedagogy and they were taught by Mr Thanh - my very knowledgeable and experienced teacher. There are so many new approaches and techniques that really opened my eyes. I applied them and really felt that they worked a lot for me. The evidence is that I got positive feedback from my students and from my mentor and really felt fulfilled within myself. This is the thing that I feel really proud of this year.

First, I did quite well in several subjects at university. Second, I have a job with a decent salary that allows me to cook and take care of myself. In addition, I produced four videos on YouTube about learning English. Although it may not seem like much, I put a lot of effort into handling and producing those videos. Another thing that I am proud of is staying persistent with my Chinese learning journey. I also learned to embrace the ups and downs of life, to try new things, to make mistakes and to grow from them. I lived fully as a 21-year-old student.

This year, I have to admit that there are several ultimate goals that I haven’t conquered yet, and the reason is because I didn’t prioritize it them enough yet, and this is the thing that I feel kindly regretful whenever I think about it. There are so many points in this year when I found myself physically and mentally burned-out, like, working to death but the results aren’t really as good as I expected. And at the end of the day, I’ve noticed that I divided my attention, my energy, my focus to many things at once, and the truth is “You can’t do everything, but you can do something, with a better result” . I feel so thankful when I knew this concept through the book named “Essentialism” and that was bought by my boyfriend as he was observing me several times crying out in the midnight because of being overwhelmingly, constantly exhausted. this books 's main message is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential. Only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter.

I want to share with you the importance of being humble and hardworking when entering a new workplace. I used to be quite confident and arrogant about myself, as I had several years of experience in this field. I didn’t notice that this prevented me from absorbing other points of view and made me reluctant to work in a regular position. However, after reading the book of Phonenix, a career consultant, I had a wake-up call. The book taught me that no matter how good you are, if your attitude is bad, then you are nothing. This advice was very helpful for me, and I think it can benefit other young people as well.

She wrote it like this: Some students who were leaders and respected at school had to do boring tasks and start from the bottom when they worked for a big company. They also had to face a strict system and senior colleagues. They hated it and left quickly, and the cycle continued. The truth is that as young people we have to be humble, observant, and hardworking when we go to a new place. We have to do small things well before we can do big things. We have to understand the system before we can change it. We have to build relationships with colleagues before we can share our opinions. We have to know the realities of the situation before we can make plans. We shouldn’t ignore the needs of others and think of unrealistic ideas. We have to be patient and stay longer, learn more, and work harder. We will gain the trust of others, understand the system, and work effectively. I applied this lesson to my own work and it proved to be true. I worked hard and dedicatedly, and it gave me not only recognition from my boss but also a strong sense of satisfaction. The thing that made me happy the most was that my boss praised me for having a good working attitude, not just for my capacity. And it’s such a great pleasure that she promoted me to be a teacher and lesson designer in the next year.

Thank you! You have taught me this lesson for two years, and I only started to appreciate its importance this year. As someone who always had the mindset of “I can do everything”, I made everything I did have to be productive, even my hobbies. That was really bad, as I did not allow my mind to rest at all. After many times of getting depressed, sick, and unhappy, I realized that sometimes, all I need is to take a break, relax, and have fun. And in reality, that often changes the situation and makes me feel better, happier, and more creative. The present is all we have. Let’s enjoy it.

Cintachun 31/12/2023