Hey, how you been doing?
It’s been a while since my last writing, and I am sorry for not updating much ever since. I know that the pandemic has been hard for everyone, and I am not an exception. I am not sure about you, but I was struggling with the ideas, my emotions, and changes in life.
Frankly, it’s not easy to get anything out of your head when you’re going through an emotional sickness.
I tried to set daily plans and principles, just to get myself back on track, but it did not really work out. I was feeling down seeing myself unproductive and unstable, then it got me becoming more depressed and doubting about everything – I was doubting about love, relationships, occupation, and every possible way that could get me out of the situation. I was like being on the horns of a dilemma.
Captured by Minolta X-700
Captured by Minolta X-700
As time passed by, I felt like I am having enough – enough of abandoning myself, enough of having no goals in life, enough of losing beliefs and hopes in fate, and the meanings of life.
Sitting here today, thinking back of how I got through things, it made me speechless completely.
Captured by Canon AE1 Program
Captured by Canon AE1 Program
Honestly, I am still not sure if I really got over those difficulties because it was not easy at all. Things had been tough but there is something I can tell you for sure, I am now feeling more grateful and back on track, and that thanks to myself for not giving up, thanks for the people who stood by and being there in my darkest time – because of you, I started to love myself more, learnt to open-up more, loving and caring more for others, treasure each and every moment more.
In fact, I know that anxiety and difficulty are still there, they are not just gone away for good, not sure if I can call them tragedy, but thanks to the tragedy – because of you, I know where I am heading off now, you helped me realize how beautiful and meaningful that life could bring, you pushed me hard to the point where I can find happiness from all the little things I did - it is just simply like doing house chores, cooking, gardening, reading, writing, enjoying morning coffee, observing sunset, listening to music, talking and sharing my thoughts to friends, and so on.    
Captured by Minolta X-700
Captured by Minolta X-700
I am not sure if I can relate to or if you can feel me, but I just want to share this to let you know how I got through things in tough time. I know that some of you might doing some big moves, going through some big things and taking big responsibilities but maybe somehow you forget how to find happiness from the simple-little things.
Friends, aren’t we all once just a fucked-up kid trying to grow up (:
Good things are happening I wish I could call you and tell you about them.
See you in pt2 - Master of none.