Happiness, but How ?
How to start ? For all the friends who are having a difficult time of themselves. Have you ever looked at someone who is super attractive...
How to start ?
For all the friends who are having a difficult time of themselves.
Have you ever looked at someone who is super attractive and positive, and you once wished or admired you would be like them.
Most of the times , we looked outside but not inside. Everybody has their own stories. And positivity is not a character or some genetic points we are born with. It is the inner thoughts or actions that count.
Yes, looking up this diagram one thought probably would come up in one's head, saying like :” yeah, I already know it‘. Like most of time our minds did when they think knowing something good is already enough. But sadly, the answer is NO.
People just fall into the fallacy where the mindset is “ knowing is half the battle "
Knowing is NOT half the battle.
If we don’t put the knowledge we gain into actions days by days then the good thoughts cannot be nurtured. Eventually they will disappear like water slipping through our fingers.
For example , one knows that doing yoga everyday can help boost his immune system but the situation just stops at knowing. And that knowledge is just stored in his head for a while without him putting his mat on floor for some actual exercises.
Then what will change ? Nothing. Absolutely nothing come out of the knowledge that one knows yoga is good for that specific person, right ?
We used social media, we use real social network. So all we see is everything out there, glamourous lives of other people and it all seems : life is easy with someone and no effort is paid. Those flattering images may lead their audience to the stage where they compare their lives to other people without really knowing what should be done to improve them first.
We already know the quote “ the person we should compare is the version of us yesterday to present. Not other people “or “ Comparision is the root of all the sadness” But how many people can actually think through when all these jealousy thoughts come up ? Only two things can make us go through the stage with less heavy burden.
They are actions and thoughts.
1. You want to make yourself better? Then make it better !
First, look back at your habit.
What are you repeatedly doing recently ? Is that routine good for your health, your relationships or your future jobs ?
Because in life, I think we should have 2 attitude towards our thoughts and actions. One is useful and one is valueless. To be more specific,for example, if one got caught because he didn’t see the traffic light and the police comes. He has 2 choices : he can be angry and yell at them because there were people did that before him and he is the only one that is caught red handed ( blame thoughts ) or he can say sorry to the police with the lightest voice and slightly get the less heavy charge ? Which one is useful and which is valueless, we can totally see. It goes the same with how people react with life circumstances.
2. Rearrange the subsconscious mind.
Human , of all the creatures are the most social animal. They can cooperate with 100 other in the species to get one work done, they can befriend with 50 people and get social whirlwind or help some random strangers on the way to their work. However, there are some downsides of blending in with society too.
First of all , when we are too friendly, our personal boundaries can be intruded. Personal boundaries include the private stories, things we don’t like to be talked or joked about, things that we would be vulnerable to some people who are not close enough to us to tell.
“Personal boundaries are the imaginary lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and protect our bodies, minds, emotions, and time from the behavior or demands of others. They provide the framework to keep us from being used or manipulated by others, and they allow us to confidently express who we are and what we want in life.”
And yet at some points , because one is so afraid of being hated or making other people disappointed, they sacrifice their personal territories. To develop into a positive thinker, a possible way is to nurture one's mind into a solution thinker rather than whining over sadness. If someone says something inappropriate, it is okay to say it out straightforward that :" I dont like being talked into that topics." or just ignore the person and give the conversation a new directions.
Second of all, if we have to meet so many people or confront too many without the alone time for ourselves to meditate back, our core beliefs might be blended. Because casually, we are exposed to many thoughts and many other people’s beliefs, it’s like a type of social affirmations to ourselves. And if we don’t take a step back to understand what is truly helpful and of us, we will lose the authentic version of ourselves, eventually.
So the tips is to hear and use positive affirmations 5-15’ everyday, to make a better life.
When you change your subsconscious minds, you will believe in good things and boost self- confidence. You will act toward yourself and nurture the good deeds.
Affirmations can be found on youtube or on internet.
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