What's been on recently?

It's been ages since I last wrote something long of my own will, let alone using English. Honestly, I feel like my skills are weakening due to lack of practice, so here you are, reading this as I try to regain my love for writing.

1. On self-development

The other day, one of my friends asked me about his relationship, and whether he should continue to put an end to it (spoiler alert: from what he told me, I said he should end it). In the end, when I asked him if he was okay, he said he had a deep talk with his girlfriend and decided to carry on with the relationship. Still, both of them will "re-categorize" their priorities and go on separate self-development journeys.

It turned out that not only my friend I was still doubtful about such concept of self-development. What should one do to improve themselves, and how much would be enough? I guess I never got the answer and it will take me a while to figure out. From the way he worded his question, I guess my friend attributes self-development to progress in professional aspects, such as skills at work or something. He kept asking me whether something was considered "self-development" if it wasn't related to work. My answer was yes. I just thought that once someone finds fulfillment or maybe just finds joy in something without harming anyone or anything else, it's considered they've grown somehow. That's enough to call progress to me. I find difficulties in maintaining discipline so of course I prefer making slow and small progress which will eventually add up to a bigger achievement.

At this age, I'm either too young or too old to give advice, but I do learn quite a little to have a say on some matters, right?

2. On trust

I have this habit of believing in people being good ones. I have an unconditional faith in the goodness of human nature. From what happened to me recently, it turned out that my faith retaliates on me sometimes. (That doesn't stop me from believing in people though, or maybe that's not the limit yet?). But thanks to that, I had the chance to discuss with some friends how to treat people and face the situation when things went south.

I told my friend about how I trusted someone because I thought she was struggling, and had to suffer so much from her family and she was nice to me. When I realized how she acted behind my back, I was disappointed. But then my friend just reminded me that I didn't owe anybody my empathy or kindness just because they were in a less fortunate situation that I had no control over. "That she was struggling doesn't mean you have to be nice and kind to her. She has to prove that she deserves that by her actions or attitude, not by appearing vulnerable. You should know where to put your trust and sympathy." She even told me to stop trusting anybody I just met just because, but in fact, I argued and told her I would still do so, but with more caution lol. And guess what? My friend still supported me even though I didn't fully follow her advice, and that's why we're still friends.

And regarding the person who failed my trust, I learned to let go. I stopped asking questions on why would she acted that way and whether I wronged her this way or that way. I accept the truth that some people are just being mean the way they were, no matter how much you try to treat them nicely. Maybe karma will get to them some days in the future, or maybe not, but it's no longer my concern anymore. Good for both of us. Sometimes, it's best to leave the questions to the void and carry on since I lost a bad person I thought would be a nice friend and she lost a friend she treated wrongly.