Adverse cohabitation of Atomic Individualism and Pathological Altruism
Copy from comment section on Hacker News' article sharing Scott's post on his website slatestarcodex.com discussing Epistemic Learned...
Copy from comment section on Hacker News' article sharing Scott's post on his website slatestarcodex.com discussing Epistemic Learned Helplessness:
Residentfoam 7 hours ago [-]
I have been lucky enough to be able to work and live in several countries around the world. One thing in common I noticed in all these places is that guys and girls don't have time and don't want to commit to a stable long relation. They invest pretty much themselves and their time in their career, traveling, parties, dogs, cats and bitcoins :)!
The mantra is to get rich and retire at 40 years old! Travel the world and have fun.
By the time they are somewhat satisfied with their status they have reached ~35 years old. At that point is more difficult to find a person and accept to share your life and habits with them. They are so used to live their own lives that they have extremely hard time compromising any part of it. I think the society has (wrongly) evolved towards an individualist model at the expenses of families. I have noticed that people have been more and more intolerant to family flying with kids. It is hard to find kids friendly restaurants, hotels and resorts. People invite you to parties and kids are always not welcome. Not to mention also the additional cost associated with having a family. But you know what? I am so happy every day when I come home and my kids run towards me and we play and have fun. I and my wife couldn't be happier! A piece of advice, stop running, take time off and think about your life beyond work and money. Traveling is fun but is way more fun and interesting when you can share it with someone you care about, like your family!
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ismail-khan 6 hours ago [-]
They are so used to live their own lives that they have extremely hard time compromising any part of it.
Reminds me of this passage from The Brothers Karamazov:
"I heard exactly the same thing, a long time ago to be sure, from a doctor," the elder remarked. "He was then an old man, and unquestionably intelligent. He spoke just as frankly as you, humorously, but with a sorrowful humor. 'I love mankind,' he said, 'but I am amazed at myself: the more I love mankind in general, the less I love people in particular, that is, individually, as separate persons. In my dreams; he said, 'I often went so far as to think passionately of serving mankind, and, it may be, would really have gone to the cross for people if it were somehow suddenly necessary, and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone even for two days, this I know from experience. As soon as someone is there, close to me, his personality oppresses my self-esteem and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I can begin to hate even the best of men: one because he takes too long eating his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps blowing his nose. I become the enemy of people the moment they touch me,' he said. 'On the other hand, it has always happened that the more I hate people individually, the more ardent becomes my love for humanity as a whole."'
The speaker goes on to say:
Love in dreams thirsts for immediate action, quickly performed, and with everyone watching. Indeed, it will go as far as the giving even of one's life, provided it does not take long but is soon over, as on stage, and everyone is looking on and praising. Whereas active love is labor and perseverance, and for some people, perhaps, a whole science.
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