You smile and try to be a positive person outside but your soul is broken in pieces.
You know you have troubles, you are stuck in a quarter-life crisis, but at the same time, you don't want to show these fucking stuffs to anyone because you are aware that you are not a child anymore. You know you are not strong and matured enough, but you wish to live independently and own 100% of your life, and you choose to deal with your mess by yourself instead of leaning on someone.
And you want to leave it all behind, and run away. Because this is such a big big and so complicated mess !! Because so many things are pending and you keep waiting, waiting... Because you feel bored and tired cause nothing is fucking interesting at all. And because you wish to explore the world out there, the world you've never seen before. You just feel you don't belong here, so you need to find. Find the better life, the more suitable place for you. Find yourself, who you really are, what you really want.
And this is it, your messy life !! 
One more time, you keep talking with you: " It's okay, baby. Don't handle to much. One by one, easy. And one day, you will find peace in your heart. So com'on, be patient and stay strong."