3.00AM, Christmas Day. Mood: happy/sad/happy/sad/nostalgic/happy/happy-sad
Should have given you one last kiss the last time we ever hung out. I was nervous, and very stiffed out from the cold. Guess it’s become sort of a feverish as well as a wistful desire now to consider another night spent next to you listening to our favorite tunes. Probably, up there among one of the most emotional days of my life. We were on LSD, making love and giving out our wildest life stories.
For me it leaned towards bittersweet on the emotional spectrum.
And, let's be honest, I was in love with you, your soul as well as your heart and your physical body more than you could or ever will be, with me. From the very first day meeting you in person, the sense of never leaving you in this lifetime couldn't get enough of me and consumed all of me, then sent me into a time-warp for the past year and a half and along the way learning a lot of things about myself and others.
When the drugs and irresponsible life decisions got the best of you, I was there because it tremendously hurt to see a person as beautiful as you destroying yourself. It was just too much for this child to bear. And, like a father to his daughter, a brother to his big sister, a son to his mother - any analogy you like - a part of me was screaming and I guess fighting for your innocence's custody when announced that you'd get an abortion.
It felt unreal and I acted indifferent for I had tried my best to not show to you and others that I was pathetically in love with you and (on purpose) bought into your sugar-coated rejections even when your feelings were just not there. I don't blame you and will never blame you, even if you were unconsciously manipulative or still are.
Do you get what I'm saying...what was I saying? We could never be lovers, for relationships can't get more perfect than this.
I love you. As a friend. As a lover. As a person. As a soulmate.
Merry Christmas darling. 

Minh Tu Le