The Times Of Our Lives.

It's been a while since my last journal. I was so caught up with exam and my Helpx trip in Finland, it had been the only thing in my mind for days. I had never been so far up North until that trip to Uusi-Värtsilä, if I had a Russian visa at the time, I could go to Russia in a couple of hours. Uusi-Värtsilä is an abandoned village, it has less than 200 inhabitants, no public transport and the nearest supermarket is 7 km away. Yes, I was literally in the middle of nowhere. I enjoyed so much being in the nature in Finland. Water is never far away. Dense forests always await somewhere nearby. The first time I was in an open bog, I thought I was teleported in another planet. The working tasks in Dennis' place were interesting and pretty relaxing as well. We harvested the wild garlics, went picking wild berries and mushrooms in the forest, made the traditional Finnish bread, took care of the green house garden and the house. One minus point though the sleeping arrangements there were chaotic, we had to share our rooms and my roommate was a self-centered character. I rarely found my privacy in the house so it drained my energy sometimes. When my roommate left, we all felt like we just woke up from a nightmare.
But I managed to find quiet time for myself: I often woke up early to have a cup of tea, sat on the porch to read or simply enjoyed the fresh air and took a walk to explore the surrounding nature. Being back to "civilization", I miss those walks and those quite mornings sitting outside a whole lot. And of course, the Finnish sauna, it is the best of the best. Life was so simple there.
What I'm trying to say is that feeling of leaving one place is strange. Even if you’re leaving one place to come back to where you once lived before, it is still strange, and it is hard. I think it would be incredibly unbearable for some time. The places you’ve known have turned into something new, and you’ve become someone else. It will always be so strange.

Now I'm back in the small town where my school is. This is not the first time I return here. Twice before for paperworks and last written exam. But I guess this time is different, I have my own room here as well for visa extension reason, just like the first time I came to Germany. It was almost 2 years ago, yeah, time flies. Being back to where it all started, I realize how much I've changed since then. My best bud, Thanh, once told me not to be afraid of doing what feels right for me even if it means changing my minds quite often. This time of our lives is for finding ourselves so we gonna change our minds a lot.
Me, as of now, no longer interested in living rat race kind of life, I would very much prefer to live in the countryside, tending my own garden or even better, a farm everyday.
I feel like I'm getting closer to myself. Those days in Finland made me realize I don't need much to be happy. This doesn't mean I'm not struggling though, sometimes I wonder if I'm just a privileged kid, dreaming to live such a life. And I often feel alienated from most people. Call me snobby if you want, I just don't see the point of owning many material things or worrying too much about what others think of you if you don't follow what seems to be an "achievement" when you reach a certain age like getting married or having kids.

Jenny was a Helper at the same time at Dennis' with me. Funny enough, we were in the same train from Helsinki to Kitee but we did not know until we both met Dennis at the train station. We quickly became friends, always baking bread together while watching Barry, we both love the characters Noho Hank and Barry so much. Unfortunately, the works were very spontaneous and we both wanted a better structured work schedule. So later on that week, Jenny found another place and left early. After discussing about other options with her, I decided to stay because somehow I know I would miss her a lot and probably struggle without her company but I believe I'll learn something in the end staying there. Meeting Jenny is one of the reasons why I'll always have this bit of vagabond life within me. And then other Helpers arrived: Max, Bety, Giuseppe and Simone. We ended up having such a great time staying together. Little did I expect we bonded so well.
Sometimes I wonder if we meet again, will the connection we have here still be there? Sometimes, people become friends because they find themselves in the same situation but when the situation changes, the friendship will also change. I guess becoming a friend with someone in the adulthood feels so different than in our childhood. The romantic sense of lifetime has gone and there is no way to trace it back. Childhood has a special X factor which can immortalize almost anything. Or maybe we'll never see each other again and what important is this present moment we share together. Nonetheless, I feel so lucky having met them in my little life. 

Our last week, the 5 of us went on hiking at Koli National Park. We were in awe looking at the breathtakingly beautiful view in front of our eyes. Finland has amazing nature and landscape, despite being very flat. And sharing a ride with these loveliest people on Earth, taking turns playing our favorite songs in the car was one of my best moments of 3 weeks in Finland.  I have doubted a lot about myself  and still do but there’s one thing I’m sure of : being in a car on a road trip with us that day is such an amazing experience for almost anyone. We know how to have fun on the road.
It's so beautiful to be alive, and I'm a lucky bee to have these memories to remember.
And I hope everyone who ever crosses my life path has a time of their life.