Chapter 1: Olie’s childhood
From the moment Olie was born, he knew there was something wrong with him. He was an emotional guy. Unlike his brother, any strong emotions could easily put Olie on the verge of crying. Maybe that was the reason why Olie was usually made fun of by his brother.
At a very young age, Olie was taught strictly that every action would have consequences. Every strike of the belt or usually the whip of his father scared him. But the most traumatic scene was when he witnessed his older brother get tied up on a couch and get hit violently by his father because he lied about his grade. It was a horrifying experience, especially when Olie imagined if he was in his brother’s place. His father was a strict person and wouldn’t tolerate any lying behavior in the house.
The harsh punishment seemed to have its effect. Olie, the younger son, slowly received a lot of expectations since he was completely honest about his grades. At that time, playing computer games was believed to be heavily linked to bad results. Therefore, if Olie wanted to play games with his friends, he had to promise to be in the top 10 students of the class.
Sometimes his parents weren’t satisfied with his result and blamed it all on playing games. Every time that happened, Olie took his bike and just left the house. While he was riding on his bike, a simple thought usually crossed his mind “What if I just got hit by a car or a truck,... would they feel sorry about their anger.”. He just kept on riding his bike and hoped that an accident would happen to him. But nothing ever happened and his frustration with his parents faded. He rode back home when everyone was asleep. Lying on his bed, he wondered if his parents had gone out and searched for him while he was away from the house.
Life is like a long journey. Some people try to go as far as they can, some just want to skip that journey or want to know when their life is going to end. There were days when Olie just felt tired of everything and wished that he would never wake up when he fell asleep. If someone asked Olie if he was happy with his life, he would laugh and think about how stupid this question was. The truth about happiness is that nobody knows if it exists or not. If we are willing to admit, we are all flawed in some ways.
The expectation, the hope, the trust his parents gave Olie about a future that never existed made him feel exhausted. “When would this end?” he thought. Sometimes the feeling of helplessness frightened him. It was like when someone just threw themselves into the river and let the current of water take them away.
But soon Olie realized the problem. He wasn't living his life, he was living someone else's life. He never wanted this life because it was nowhere near how he wanted to live his life. From that moment, he was stronger than ever and would not compromise with his life anymore. He just wanted to free himself from the shadow he had been living in and write his own life story…