Recently I had some bad dreams. Really bad dreams. Maybe some kind of a nightmare. I dreamed about me being naked in public. Several times a week.
I felt so terrible in those dreams. Being naked, everyone laughing at me and I have nowhere to hide. Totally awkward, on some level that I just want to disappear immediately from this world. Then I started crying, after realizing that I cannot run away from this, or at least just do something. I was just standing there and did absolutely nothing. I was paralyzed. I was vulnerable.
I wasn't sure what my dreams are about, or what is the real meaning of them, so I searched for some information on the Internet. Turns out that's a pretty common dream. They said, it happens a lot to people who are under too much pressure, too much stress. "You're embarrased and shy, and you are trying so hard to hide your fear", they said.
Probably I had this kind of dream because of my real life problems. I'm having so much trouble dealing with my own life. My studies, my goals, what I've done until now, my love life and all my relationships,... They're so hard to explain. Sometimes I wonder if this is even my life, or it belongs to somebody else.
I'm not sure about anything. Things are so vague and uncertain. I don't know what to do, or what I should do.
I just honestly hate my life. I feel like there's no one actually understand me, or at least try to understand me. Sometimes I think about death.
I'm scared.