Saigon, 19/09/2020
Hi sweetie,
This letter was written before I could finish one of the most important journeys of my life: "finding-a-perfect-half-to-love"....
Saigon, 19/09/2020
Hi sweetie,
This letter was written before I could finish one of the most important journeys of my life: "finding-a-perfect-half-to-love". I wish by a random chance in vast possibilities overlapping in this vague reality, these lines can find ways to the girl I would love. Maybe, all of this would be faded by thousands of beautiful and attractive things on the internet, leaving only chains of data bits: 1 and 0. I can't control this risk and don't really want to do so. I used to think that my whole life has to be according-to-the-plans. Not to squeeze freedom by my hands, I just hate to witness everything surrounding me happens in the ways like I am not a part of it, being out of my protections.
But a big fraction of me always desires supprises or little happiness coming from my "incidental" actions, somethings like a time that I brought a lottery ticket and gave it to the boy selling them, or leaving an umbrella in a rainy day. Quietly, I expected magic to happen. A lottery boy changes his life with a special ticket, protecting someone from being sick by sudden rain. I am writing this letter in the hope that I could get this selfish magic for myself.
I kind of lazy in these days, don't really want to meet new friends, everything I do is just studying, reading books, and doing my job. Always taking the reasons related to our future to keep my busy all the time. Ironically, I am still struggling to identify you among 3.8 billion possibilities on this planet, and we don't even meet each other. Maybe, we did but I could not realize the special magic happening in front of my eye. Forgive me! if I'd ever walked away from you.
Don't make me wrong that I didn't try to reach you, I just don't want to hurt other girls, especially you, in my journey. I am afraid to mistake someone for you, and in that process cause pains for each other. Because I knew exactly the way how hearts are broken, since the time I ended my first love with an innocent girl that I thought was you in high school. I don't want to spread that experience to any girls, they don't deserve it. My unspecial life was fortunate enough to be part of the youth of a few special girls in some intersections of the journey. Maybe, I did accidentally failed them, and they also hurt me several times, but all of that perfect me today. I wish the girl I would love to have a kind heart to see them with generous eyes. Because I cannot ignore or pretend to be not bothered when they're in need. It would be so ungrateful to be a jerk like that.
I like to see myself as Remi in "Nobody's boy" that I would face numerous challenges, being blessed to get help from decent friends, fighting with deceits, full-filling myself with kindness, righteousness, then finally find the special things that are worth to use my whole life to protect. A better version of me is the very first gift I will give you in the time we actually meet. You get to believe me! I'm trying every day to stand straight and finish this journey proudly like Remi, the courageous troubadour boy.
In my imagination, you're a little girl who loves reading books, and always want me to gently rub your head whenever you make mistakes. We will call each other every morning. I can cook for you, and love to be struggling with a simple important wonder: "What do you like to eat today ?". On weekends, we can sit back-to-back to read the same book, and suddenly laugh together. In the evenings, you would hold my hand, taking me, a poor skill photographer, around the city to check in numerous places. We definitely would argue sometimes, however, when it comes to the end of words, I am willing to be the person to apology first. Like Plato, I believe that truth and wonderful things always get along, you're always the most wonderful thing in my eye, the angry girl of truth.
Our story would be "fireworks" and "dark sky", quiet but extraordinary. You're the spectacular fireworks breaking the silence of darkness. I'm the dark sky, a blank canvas, keeping my fireworks the only wonderful thing in the night, brighter than every star ever shining. A masterpiece painting of light and darkness, an endless song of noise and tranquility.
