So the other day I decided to go on a South Park marathon, a show that I haven’t watched in ages. Still very much obscure among Vietnamese, at first glance, South Park is a show known for it’s use of vulgar and toilet humour, making fun and mocking everyone, and I do mean everyone, including religious prophets, world leaders, etc. And that was what got me into South Park as a 12 years old kid, the laughs, the anti pc jokes. But the more I grow up, I start to see the genius of Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and their use of such immature humour to comment on social issues.
Perhaps, one of the episodes that hit me the most, was season 15, episode 7 “You’re getting old”. To put it simply, in this episode, the show’s protagonist Stan, just turning 10, discovering that everything he loved and enjoyed, has now turn to shit. Literally shit. The music he once enjoyed now sounds like shit, the food he once craved now looks and taste like shit, the movies he once loved, well you get the point. I first saw this episode when I was around 15, 16 years old, and I never thought much about it, just weirded out to seeing literally faeces everywhere during the episode. But after viewing it again the other day, I cannot help but shed a tear, and it’s no doubt in my mind the saddest episode of the series.
One of the themes explored in “You’re getting old’” other than depression, is change.
Stan, now seeing everything as shit, becomes a shell of his former self, and sooner or later it affected his relationships with those around him. Stan’s friend slowly become tired of his toxicity, and no longer wants to hang out with him. Kyle, Stan’s best friend, despite doing everything he could to maintain their friendship, also gives up, with his last words to Stan being: You’ve changed’
The saddest moment in the episode is undoubtedly the ending, where Stan’s parent, Randy and Sharon have their divorce, with Sharon last words to her ex husband: People grow older Randy, people grow apart. Followed by a scene of Stan depressingly siting alone near a pond, with Kyle behind him trying to reason and help his friend one last time, only to give up and turn back at the last second, just as the tune of Landslide by Fleetwood Mac begins, a song that deals with the uncertainty of growing up.
As someone who has been living abroad alone by himself for several years, Stan is very much a mirror reflection of me. Now considered a young adult, I no longer photographs as much I do, I don’t write or read as much as I do anymore. Heck, I can’t enjoy video games anymore. Now that I think about it, everything I used to enjoy, just like Stan, has now turned to shit. I’m no longer enthuaistic about life as I was, which had inevitably denied robbed me from new relationships and other life opportunities, as well as pushed the people whom I once cared about away from me.
Stan's body language, a blank face always nodding down, silently sitting alone in the bus and looking out the window into nothingness, bares ucnanny reseblance to what I probably looked like during the past few years. Sure, I still get out of bed. I still go to class, to work. However, I do not feel anything.
Depression is the worst, it sucks the life out of you, and replace it with a void of emptiness and hopelessness.
How do you go on when nothing makes you happy?
And while there is no clear answer to it, South Park provides one first step: Acceptance
Life changes, and Stan accepts it. Nothing will become the way it’s used to be. And that’s okay. He accepts that growing up comes with changes, changes that you might enjoy or not. And the only way forward, is being optimistic. You lose a handful people, but you will also meet new ones. You’ve lost your passion for something, but the world is also out there for you to explore new ones. Change, is normal. This obviously doesn’t miraculously treats Stans depression, but it’s a first positive step in his outlook of the world.
Most importantly, he accepts that, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel empty and sad. Because if sadness doesn’t exist, then what does it mean to happy. And once you’ve overcome your sadness, then you will take glance back, and understand, what true happiness is.
